Monday, January 19, 2009

Cocksucking 101

I wish I could tell you this was a How To blog about the art of fellatio. I can't. Cocksucking 101 refers to the time I blew a centenarian. Again, I wish I could say a centenarian was a Roman gladiator of sorts but in fact, it’s a person who’s reached the age of one hundred. To be exact, Mr. Lumley was 101-years-old. I was a bit drunk even before I jumped out of the oversized birthday cake at the party, so when the champagne started flowing and his grandson offered me two hundred dollars to go down on him, I agreed. I thought the grandson, who was 32-yers-old and not half-bad looking was talking about himself. After a few more glasses of champagne, he led me into the Men’s room to perform the deed. “Go into the third stall,” said the grandson as he handed me the money. “There’s a Glory Hole there.” A Glory Hole is nothing more than a hole in the wall whereupon males would stick their tiddlywinks to be fellated. Okie Dokie, I thought to myself, he wants to be a bit kinky. I got down on my knees and waited for a few minutes wondering where the hell he was. Then, as I peeked through the hole into the other room, I saw someone pushing a wheelchair towards the wall. Oh no! It was old Mr. Lumley. I was about to get up and leave when I heard the Men’s Room door open. Shit, shit, shit! What do I do?! Before you know it, there was a shriveled pee-pee drooping listlessly in front of me. So after taking a deep breath, I gave it a little kiss. “Ooohhh...” moaned Mr. Lumley from the other side of the wall. I closed my eyes and gave it a lick when he suddenly the thing started dribbling all over my cheek. If only ALL men were this easy to please... I then suddenly heard a commotion from the other room. “Grandpa! Oh no!“ Cried the grandson. Well, it was a hell of a party. A send-off you might say. I even gave the two hundred dollars back to the grandson, as a donation for the funeral expenses.

1 comment:

  1. this is so hilarious. i haven't even read everything you've posted. i will start ASAP. and by ASAP i mean ASAIGBFS (as soon as i get back from skiing). cuz now... I GOTTA PACK! i'm leaving in 8 hours and would like to sleep for a few of those.

    Love ya!